Sooooo… why did I change? What made me think that it was no longer ok to live the way I lived?
As you can imagine, at 113kg my BMI was in the obesity category, as was my 51% body fat percentage. But before I knew these numbers I noticed little details which were not really “normal”. Stuff like getting up from a chair, going up a single flight of stairs, vacuuming the house and other simple activities were becoming really hard to do, took my breath away and made my heart rate go through the roof. Nevertheless I went on, pretty much making up excuses for myself “I am really sweaty because it’s spring and it’s warming up, it’s not because I can’t even handle changing the bed sheets…”. But then I occasionally started feeling some clenching in my heart, like someone took it in his hands and squeezed really tight. Still, I let it happen one, twice, 3, 4… too many times. When “oh, there goes my heart again, acting stupid, hurting and all” became part of my routine, I realized: “This cannot go on.” And it’s not that I am afraid of dying (I’m really not), it’s that I am afraid of becoming incapable of looking after myself after a stroke or something like that.
I had obviously tried to lose weight in the past, unsuccessfully. Diets are NOT my thing, for its logic never made sense to me: sure, I’ll have a really restricted diet for a definite period of time, lose the weight and then go back to my normal routine which pretty much means I will gain it all back. Plus I have always experienced serious emotional roller-coasters whenever I tried to diet. Exercising was never my thing. Move? Me? Naaaahhh, it’s uncomfortable, and sweaty, and my boobs bounce all over the place. Still I forced myself into joining a gym in 2005 but it went very wrong, not only the other gym goers but the gym staff itself made me feel very VERY unwelcome, and at the time I was “only” at 86kg. They looked at me through the mirrors with honest-to-god disgust written all over their faces and looked horribly annoyed if I asked for guidance when using the machines. Useless to say my gym experience didn’t last long (3 months).
So! What I was going to do?? How was I to lose weight without crash diets and without a gym?? At this point I was still a very uninformed person, still going for the mainstream “must lose weight” instead of “must lose body fat and gain muscle mass”, still thinking “yeah, if I exercise, I can eat whatever I want”, still thinking “a calorie is a calorie”, and other inaccurate clichés like that.
Step one (and it’s really a step that never ends): Knowledge is power. Look for information online, but always cross check references, always check where/who the information came from and its credibility.
And from now on I will start sharing stuff. Less of my words, more articles, videos and images (yay!! \o/ ).
The 1st thing I want to share is a news piece from the Daily Mail called:
In it you will see the scans below and you can also read/understand how being overweight affects you in so many ways. I felt most of the things they list, but had never considered their cause could be related to the excess weight, so it was a big eye opener to me, and I hope it will be for you too.